Bisexuality Is Real
The subject of my post today in one that I would not normally write about; but I was drawn to do so because of an event that I went to last night that really opened my eyes. Some members of my family and friends would already know that I am a Bisexual woman, those that don’t………now you do. As far as I am concerned, my bisexuality does not affect anyone else.
Last night I attended my first non-dance related event in a long time. It was promoted as being specifically for people of many sexual orientations including Bisexuals. I attended in order to meet more like-minded people. I felt that I would be comfortable there, because I would not need to explain myself to anyone; that I would be accepted in that crowd. If the subject arose it would not be a big deal, as it often is in standard pubs and clubs. Instead, I found myself subjected to gross prejudices; prejudices that should not have been in that room. I spent much of my time explaining, justifying and defending my sexuality and my rights. This post is not about attacking that specific event as many people there were nice and it is important that these events take place. However, what I realised last night was that in all communities there is still a deep misunderstanding about bisexuality. I feel the need to clarify a few things in the hope that the prejudice towards them ends.
1. Bisexuality Exists
Bisexuals are not mythical creatures. We do exist across the world. We are probably the minority of the minority but we are out there.
2. BiCurious is Not Bisexual
BiCurious people are curious about being with someone of the same-sex. They will either work out as they go through that they are bisexual, straight or gay – it is a passing experience on the way to discover themselves. Bisexuals however desire to be with both sexes. Their eyes are drawn to both. It is not a passing thought but a reality.
3. Bisexuality is Not a Phase
You are not bisexual if you are working out if you want to be straight or gay/lesbian. It is not a path that runs from one side of the coin to the other. A genuine Bisexual is attracted to both Men and Women at the same time – that is it.
4. Bisexuals can be Married
I am Bisexual and married. I happened to fall in love with a man and was able to marry him. This does not mean I’m no longer bisexual. I am still attracted to women, but my life partner is a man. If I had fallen in love with a woman instead and been able to marry her (a cause I strongly believe in) then that is what would have happened, but I still would have been attracted to men.
5. You Do Not Choose to be Bisexual
If you asked a Lesbian, Gay, Transsexual or Straight person if their sexuality was a choice they would say no. Sexuality of any kind is not a preference it is simply what you are. It is how you were born. Bisexuality is the same. I did not choose to become bisexual, but from the time of puberty I was aware I was not straight. If a Straight person is simply straight, a Gay person is simply Gay, a Lesbian is simply a Lesbian and a Transsexual is simply Transsexual, then a Bisexual is simply a Bisexual. Deal with it.
6. Bisexuals are Part of Society
My sexuality has not overtly affected anyone or anything that I do. It has not changed the fact that I am a dancer, teacher, choreographer or writer. It has not changed the fact that I am a wife and a daughter. I am all these things in society. Therefore Bisexuals are in society.
I have gotten tough enough over the years to be able to discuss the issues facing us, and to no longer feel the need to cry when someone treats me badly for my sexuality. It will probably never stop hurting, even if it’s just a little bit. We all wish to be accepted. However the prejudice has to end and it starts with people understanding the truth instead of believing rumours and lies. There are millions of Bisexuals out there, still yet to come out, and I want them to know that while it is not an easy road, you should be proud to be who you are. You were born just the way you should’ve been.